PARENTAL PRESSURE: PUSHY PARENTS
“I want the best for my children…”
It is normal and natural for parents to want the best for their children and to do everything possible to prepare them for life. However, sometimes this pushes children into activities that satisfy the parents' needs but not the children’s. When parents have unsatisfied needs from their own childhoods, they often overcompensate or are overinvolved in their children’s life.
WARM UP
• Do you get on well wlth your parents?
• Have you ever felt forced by your parents to do actlvltles you dldn't like?
• Have you ever glven up a sport because after a while you reallsed you dldn't like it?
“Mum and Dad will be happy if…”
Children and teenagers, too, want to be loved by their parents, and for this reason, they might try to do what their parents like. They might play an instrument or practise a sport or take courses they do not like because they know that their parents will be proud of them.
Too much pressure
When there is too much pressure on children and teenagers, it may overwhelm their nervous systems, causing them to develop anxiety disorders, which may lead to other dysfunctional behaviour and mental health issues. These children or teenagers may turn their anger and pain inward and develop depression. There is a high rate of burnout for young teenagers in sports: after a childhood full of lots of sports activities, teenagers are often tired of them and give up.
What parents should do
The task for parents is to see their children as they really are, to help them to understand what makes them happy and to support them in those activities. Parents should be role models for their children by following their own passions and doing what they themselves like doing. There is a belief in modern society that “more is better”1 , but more is not necessarily better, and having children involved in too many activities might not be the best thing for them. In addition, such a busy routine can prevent parents from having a true quality relationship with their children.2
DO
1 Explain •more is better" in your own words.
2 Children & Extracurricular Activities I Child Anxiety posted by Howcast